Thursday, April 10, 2014

To My Daughter


To the love of my life

I know I am probably considered too young to write this one as I am just 22 and well honestly I agree to that as well. But then this is the youngest I will ever be and this is the least age difference we are ever going to have. So I thought I should give it a shot. May be I will write one more to you when I will be 30 and more sane, sober, responsible and all of those things... (read boring) but for now I want you to know what I was like when I was twenty two in my so called "leather jacket and Avril phase". What mistakes I made that I don't want you to. How I freaked about almost everything. And how I knew, you are going to be the anchor of my life. :)

So my intention was primarily to write a beautiful poem for you, but sorry sweetheart its not possible for me to sum up all of it... merely in few lines. Those two stanzas that I carried along everywhere for a couple of months are at a dead end now. So I am finally giving up. :(

I honestly don't know from where do I need to begin from, So I will just start by saying what I always crave to hear. "No matter what horrible things you do, how much you push me away or how many times you fail.... you will always find a way back to my heart. I will always stay and I promise we will get through it. " :)

Lets go through things one by one.

     1. Those who want to stay will stay. Don't ask for it.

     2. Not everyone you loose is a loss.

     3. Its compulsory to have a 4:00 AM friend, who won't ask you to stop crying or will try to know the reason but will let you silently sob all you want.

     4. Moisturize your hair, and apply sunscreen like your second job. If you have my DNA, you are going to get troubled by both.  

    5. Travel all you want, just come back home safe.

    6. Find a goal, sooner the better. 

    7. Be a window cleaner if you want, but be the best at it.

    8. Be a lady who falls in love with the struggle of his man not his money. Be the one he needs not wants.

    9. Love is over rated, and butterflies are misleading. At least that's how I feel right now ... (It comes and goes in phases 4 now) but still when I will be 52 and you will be 22, I want you to experience all of it and fight with me and tell me otherwise. :) Because if I know something and I am certain about, It is that it's totally worth it. (Y)

  10. Being simple is not simple anymore.

 11. World is unfair, make sure you aren't to yourself.

 12. There is no universal benchmark for whats rights and whats wrong. Make your own rules and stick to them. Its okay if people don't always get you or get along. May be you are a 22nd century girl living in 21st, because there was also a time when drinking tea was considered to be evil. :P

 13. Keep the house clean. Sorry I am Monica Geller (watch friends).

 14. Your mom has this secret envelope and a book hidden somewhere in her shelf, Please throw it away if she hasn't so far. ( I know, I should have done that a long time back but its difficult and you will know. )

 15. Everyone will tell you, its easy to give up and hard to keep going on. But for once you will know giving up can be the most difficult thing to do. 

 16. Watch "North and South", "Painted Veil", "Mona Lisa smile", "One day", "Flipped", "Brave", "Alice in the wonderland".... observe the tinniest bit of details and may be you will know what do I intend to say.

 17. Beat the shit out of the guy who thinks like you are a public property and its okay to grope you because you are alone. Do it, don't hesitate. You are that strong. 

 18. There is no right person out there, just the right time.

 19. Read Books, whatever that interests you. Crime, Love stories, Romance, Sex...whatever.... but just read.

 20. Writing and shopping. Both are great therapy. 

 21. Instead of having 1000 good friends make 2 close friends.

 22. Don't let numbers define you. Be it your size or your GPA.

 23. Don't compare your inside with others outside. 

 24. Indulge in a sport.

 25. Make a point to call your old friends once in a while. Try and stay in touch.

 26. Make waving friends. Not just with the ones you find in college or school but the kid on the street and that lady passing by.

 27. Smile more often. Happy girl look the prettiest of all. :)

 28. Pick a signature perfume for yourself. Its classy. (I haven't done it myself so far :( )

 29. Define your own "Classy".

 30. We see things we want to. We hear things we want to. Don't let yourself be blind to this primary fact.

 31. Go and watch the night sky from the out skirts of the city. It's the most beautiful sight of the world.

 32. If you don't mean it, don't say it.

 33. Just because your friends have a boy friend should not be the reason you need one.

 34. Give personalized gifts, write letters to your friends. Its never too outdated to do that.

 35. You can tell me any and every thing. I promise I would always be listening.

 36. Learn to appreciate small acts of kindness. Observe the details.

 37. Say Thank you and Hug people more often.

 38. Maintain your journal. You will be surprised, how much you have changed and matured with time, even if its not really visible.

 39. Don't over think, over analyze and worry. You will miss the moment. Sometimes its good to be in the fools paradise.

 40. Learn to love the fool within you. Who is not always right, acts crazy and stupid, has bad hair days,and have insecurities.  

 41. I won't ask you to go to the temple everyday ... frankly i haven't done it either. But just go once in a while to tell them how you feel about everything that is going on in your life.

 42.. Kiss that guy. Your mom is slow but don't you be.

 43. Don't take sex lightly. I mean it.

 44.Cut down on bahar ka khanna as much as you can. Processed food is not healthy no matter what the nutrition value says.

 45. Learn to like fruits, veggies and milk products.

 46. Don't be in a hurry to wear make up. You don't need it anyways.

 47. Personal hygiene has no multiple choice. It's a must.

 48. Don't be embarrassed for hoping for true love.

 49. Disconnect once in a while.

 50. No, you are not allowed to smoke and never will be.

 51. Drink but in a safe company and let me know. "OCCASIONALLY".

 52. Random act of kindness and anonymous charity is sexiest of all. And you deserve a guy who can see and believe that.

 53. I have a magical power and I can see through your lies. But I will still wait because I know you will come and tell me the truth anyways. :)

 54. Some people do not deserve your reaction. For them your silent treatment should be all.

 55. Fashion magazines and cover models are not real. Do I really even need to say that.

 56. Tattoos are permanent. Think hard before you get one.

 57. You are never too old to watch Disney.

 58. PMS are no excuse.

 59. Learn the art of saving money from the beginning itself. Its very important.

 60. Speak your mind. ALWAYS.

 61. Family is very important.

 62. Never be afraid to get a little dirty. Flirt shamelessly. But only till its sensual and not slutty.

 63. Learn the difference between sexy and vulgar.

 64. Watch super hero movies. They are amazing.

 67. I know you are strong and independent but still marry a gentleman who has the chivalry to order food for you, who won't mind holding gate for you.

 68. You know butterflies die, never knowing what beautiful wings they own. Don't be one such butterfly.

 69. Many times you going to regret things you have said. But more than that you are going to regret what you did not say.

 70. There are really no short cuts to success.

 71. Psithurism. Find out what it is.

 72. Pick your favourite word and find out why ? Mine was "peregrination"

 73. Rules are meant to be broken, unless they are mine. :P

 74. Don't regret a single thing.

 75. Its going to be okay. No matter what. It always has, and it always will. Whatever is going to happen will be for the better. I have witnessed it and you will witness it too. :)

Okay so I am tired. Lets keep it till here for today.
Lots and lots of love.
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Monday, December 30, 2013

Before "New Year"


So what's new this new year? Apart from my visibly shorter hairs :(  (Thanks to the girl who trimmed them.) and the fact that my mom is finally convinced that I can cook a decent meal and my future in laws won't call her to complain, how their son is constantly loosing weight. :P

So do you think this one year has changed me?
I think it did in a lot of ways. May be in a less visible manner but surely it did.

To start with I am happy that my fears and insecurities have changed with time. It only proves that I am no more where I was.
At the beginning of this year I thought I need to be more in control of my life and more or less I did act accordingly. Although surprisingly when I least expected it, things turned out to be in my favor. :P (making this year more interesting and exciting for me for sure.... the kind I will love to share with my daughter with all added details in her teenage) Meanwhile I learned to be more patient. Because no matter what, somethings just take time. Sometimes its good not to react at all and let it be. And most of all you can not control how others choose to feel for you. There is very little you can do about it. So stop trying to be a better and a well behaved version of yourself. You are already enough and amazing the way you are and in case you find yourself doubting just call your chaddi buddy friends. :D

And I know its foolish but it is worth mentioning, that I am little over my phobia of lizards after my summer internship days.

I hated June (Internship days) so much, and surprisingly not because my HR thought it was ok to expect 3-4 algorithm implementation each day when she knew nothing about them, but because I hated staying away from home. Because that 3rd floor hostel flat was the worst place to be in during holidays. It had all kind of insects, bees that use to swarm in my bedroom every morning from God knows where, a guest appearance by a monkey that almost gave me a heart attack, and adding to that was the scorching heat of June and ceiling fan to survive. (And yes I have already mentioned about the lizards + Mess food + what not, you name it )

Placement season, well lets not go there. My BP might shoot up. :P

GATE that's another thing that I have found to keep myself busy. WOW.

Honestly, I have no idea how I can summarize this one particular year of my life. My thoughts are scattered, my feelings are unresolved and like any other normal person I am scared to step into the unkown.

But at the same time I am hopeful and that makes this year a little less of a disaster. :P

Recently one of my friend pointed out, I was smiling the whole time while I was in a conversation. And I hated to admit but yes maybe I did blush. And if she is right, its generally among first few signs. :P ( what I read as a disaster)

Employee referrals. :D Yippy, Hurray. I want to kiss the person who came up with this idea.

One question that I stumbled upon this year and is now becoming the reason behind most of my decisions. "If you get a chance to meet your 10 year younger version, what will you tell yourself"?

I just wish and hope that I will have something interesting to work on in 2014. That is the only thing I really want right now. And yes finally a much awaited trip with my high school friends. Smoothning wont hurt either. :P (Yes, that will be all for my wish list of year 2014)

PS- I shall now update my blog once the semester gets over. So do wait and come back again. Till then take care and enjoy :D
Happy New Year in advance :)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The idea of 'US'


It is the sound of our names together,
and the trail of echoes it leaves behind.
It is things as simple as those,
that draws my thoughts back to you each time. 

It is the scent you carry,
and the dimples of your smile.
That makes me forget,
all about those stupid fights we had last night.

It is the touch of your hands,
and the memory of my fingers tracing your fine lines.
Which forces me to consider,
if John Keats could possibly be right. 

It is when I see you waiting for me,
standing alone with deep eyes.
I loose all the progress I made last week,
to forget and focus on better issues of life.

So maybe this is how we are,
and how we will be. 
Complicated as hell,
going on and off constantly.

Knowing what we are,
and what we will never be.
A beautiful idea,
more than we actually ever could be.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Rebooting your Life


Okay, this was supposed to be uploaded a long time ago, but for some reason I chose to keep it in my drafts. But then last night something happened and I couldn't resist and share this one.
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"I can't believe I am unpacking all my stuff, I was so excited to go to shimla. Damn this college." I said with despair in my tone and with a hint of anger in it. 
"Who the hell said college was fun?" Ipshita said in an even bitter tone. "We have zero campus culture, not a single cute guy, faculty that drives me crazy, compulsory courses and add to that the misery of wearing college uniform. Ughh I hate this place." 

Now for those who do not know. Ipshita is one of the closest being I ever had to a sister. She is funny, ambitious, kind and all those good things, but most of all what I like about her is, life becomes a roller coaster ride when she is around. 

"Why I am not surprised." I said half joking. 
"Shut up, that was not funny. I am depressed.... And frustrated...Somewhat irritated too...and Blah blah blah." She said sulking.
"Know what? Let’s go for a walk." I said and I stood up to find my slippers. 

She agreed as well but only after I promised her a sundae.
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"Let’s go out someplace this weekend na, I am sick of this place." I asked Ipshita.
"Well who is not. Let’s check noticeboard, we might find something interesting. Moreover lots of college festivals are going around this season." Ipshita answered and we continued forward towards the main notice board.
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"Look, here. A salsa workshop."  Ipshita said indicating towards a poster on the notice board looking excited.

"Sweet heart. I hope you do know Salsa requires partner unless of course you are willing to learn guys step for me." I said teasingly with a bit of sarcasm.
"Oh yes, partner. My life sucks eternally." She said.
"Well that makes two of us." was my immediate response. 

After a couple of minutes she said "Excuse me, you do have a partner. I am not sure if you are thinking clearly." 
"Haha, I am dying laughing on this one. We do not even hold hands and you are telling me to ask him for a salsa workshop. How brilliant of you." I said in a matter of fact tone.
"You know studies reveal that man like woman taking the initiative. Just saying you know......", and she shrugged in a typical cute girly manner, happy with herself for making an inside joke.
"And you do know your sundae is long lost forgotten story after this one." I said and gave her an ugly smile.
"acha acha sorry."
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"Anyways let's see who is organizing." I said to change the topic.
"Some Aaryansh Aghnihotri. Nice name na. Look he has a vodafone too. " Ipshita pointed out.
"Hmm, yes its a good name." I nodded.

In that brief moment, we both knew what was going in our heads. And the next thing i know was we both were on a speaker call.
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"Hey is this Aaryanh", I said.
"Yes speaking." was his response.
"Well I came across this notice for a salsa workshop, and I was wondering if I can register on the spot, because as of now I am not sure if I will be participating or not." I inquired.
"Yeah, Sure you can. May I please know from which college you are speaking." He questioned.

Now this was the question we weren't prepared for. So I ended the call in haste.  This was not the way we hoped for it to go. But after a couple of minutes cell phone vibrated again. It was a message from the same no. and we both lit up. 
"Hey you did not mention me your college name." was the message he left.

And we quickly decided to go with Hansraj.

"Well me and my friend is from Hansraj, but the problem is my friend do not have a partner. " We texted back.
"That should not be a problem, there will be many without a partner i suppose" was his response to our text message. 

"Actually the thing is my friend is pretty amazing, so you know. Why don't you go with her. You seem to be a nice guy to me."  We replied.
By now we were already rolling on the floor laughing. 
.
.
.
And this went on for a long time. Poor guy, he thought he got lucky. 
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PS- I am going to miss our crazy times. It was technically our last semester together, and somehow things wont be the same ever after but I still wish to believe they will. From shouting in the corridors to spamming each other facebook wall. From juniors to seniors. From my 2 birthday's in May to your 3 birthday's in September. :P The way we order our food as if we haven't eaten from a month or so and end up saying... "bhaiya pack kerdo", and most of all how we never needed anyone to share our inside jokes.
And yes Plz Plz tel my future husband/bf to be as amazing shopping partner as you are. :D (just girly things)
And one story that i undoubtedly want to tell your kids is... " How I met your mother". Again.... how can you cry that much? :P 

And to the rest who are still curious, we told the poor guy about our intents later and said sorry. He created a little fuss initially but apologized himself (perks of being a girl). We still have his number saved as "Never ever Pick up".


Thursday, December 5, 2013

5th Dec 2013


I know exactly how i want it to be,  but yet whatever I write never seems enough. Maybe because this story matters to me, or may be because this is the only story that ever mattered to me.

#PenguinPublicationAnnualLecture. Only my roommate know how excited i was to receive a confirmation mail for the event. But then the stupid stupid (one stupid won't do) delivery boy who did not deliver passes to me well in time. :(

Rendezvous with a friend. From sec 18 to connaught place. From books to keventers. Boy, you make me do stupid things. "Why should boys have all the fun?" hehe (winks)

Happiness is having somebody to call at 4 am. :)

#Socks - in every possible color. :D #December

The problem with most of us is, we compare our inside with others outside.

After all these years, I still wonder what would it be like to be addressed by my own name. (no you can not comprehend this one)

"I can call you pretty, but still I will call you beautiful. Because beautiful has so many more meanings for which pretty is not a substitute."
:O

And yes, I have finally found the word . Psithurism it is.
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#KidPresident. He definitely made me smile today. :)

And just so that you know, I am not the only fan. President Obama himself called him and asked him to meet in person after watching his videos.
Do check him out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5yCOSHeYn4

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Before Sunset
(few of my favorite excerpts)


CelineI always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?
.
.
Journalist #1: Do you consider the book to be autobiographical?
Jesse: Uh, well, I mean... isn't everything autobiographical?
.
.
Jesse: You want to know why I wrote that stupid book?
Celine: Why?
Jesse: So that you might come to a reading in Paris and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?"
Celine: [laughing] No - you thought I'd be here today?
Jesse: I'm serious. I think I wrote it, in a way, to try to find you.
Celine: Okay, that's - I know that's not true, but that's sweet of you to say.
Jesse: I think it is true.
.
.
Jesse: You know, I think that book that I wrote, in a way, was like building something. So that I wouldn't forget the... details of the time that we spent together. You know, like just a reminder that... that once we really did meet! You know, that this was real! That this happened!
.
.
Jesse: Oh, God, why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? Why didn't we do that?
Celine: Because we were young and stupid.
Jesse: Do you think we still are?
Celine: I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.
Jesse: And you can screw it up, you know, misconnect.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

25th Nov


(yes that's my room)

Honestly when you use to drop me till school bus everyday, it use to annoy me a little. Why will any high school going kid like that anyways. :P But then now when I think about it, I feel a whole lot different about it. I know I argue a lot, I am stubborn and miss managed. Careless at times. And most of the times I tell you "I will do it on my own. Let me do it my way". And all such sort of things. But the truth is I can not. The fact is I can take the risk and be myself because I know you are there to help me sort out in case I end up in a soup. :) I do not think, I can ever Thank God enough for letting me have parents like you. :)  [ and you need not to get sentimental on this one,(just in case you are reading) you know I can be a Devil and an Angel at the same time :D]

Because I fear failure so much, that I end up worrying and working more on my backup plan, instead of my original plan. And eventually I end up doing all the wrong things. #LearnToHaveLittleFaith

And then there are people I meet, who will talk about Ayn rand's philosophy, will encourage the idea of "Do what you like doing the most" but will most probably end the discussion by forcing on the idea, that a 3.25 job in a MNC is probably a best shot of success and happiness for an avg. student. Really?

Happiness is finding a sticky note, with an encouraging message, to start my day with. Lucky to have few friends, I know who really care. :) Thank God we have 1 more semester together.

Medicines. It was fine till then. No needles please. :(

Not really into the grand wedding thing, or to say simply "wedding". But this is really nice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPtXgivTKog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGnK_UslZes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZPVHaPCfso (my personal fav.... i m loving d bride here.. she is so fun)

(must be the music and editing skills)

And I have no Idea why every one assumes they know what is good for me.

The idea of starting a brand new life somewhere in the hills, teaching kindergarten students and having time to cook myself a breakfast and enjoy a book by the window with a hot cup of coffee in the evening . #exciting (or less ambitious? I will never know the difference. )

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For silly Romantics.

ONE DAY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1tSxwpUz7Y

This is one of the best things I have watched in days. Made me cry literally. (Trust me not many movies can do that to me). Everything I will say will be taken otherwise, so i will just refrain from the idea of writing a review. But go and watch this movie because I am saying so. You will thank me later.

For Animation Lovers

MONSTER UNIVERSITY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODePHkWSg-U

Totally fun. Initially I was not so sure, if I will like this movie and in fact I kind of ignored it after going through its trailer. But then my Graphic's teacher insisted on the idea of watching this one. Thankfully this time I did.

Defining moment of the movie and my personal fav. is when mike gets his college ID card. Watch it and you will know why.
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Will I be something?
Am I something?

And the answer comes:
You already are.
You always were.
And you still have time to be.
-Anis Mojgani

Saturday, November 16, 2013

15 Nov 2013


#Sleepover, possibly one of the best remedies in the world. 

#Cold + #Major Project + #Sleeping Dose , Worst combination ever.

#22, not sure what i want. It sucks.

And sometime I do not know what do i feel or how do i feel about the whole thing. And this is when i ignore talking. Bear with me if you can. :|

And just maybe, I will never reach a conclusion. #ignore

#Library Fine + #Mess Food = Side effects of college

When a 3 year old cry for you :(. #i miss u 2 myra <3

And if it was legal to kill few irritating people, my life would have been certainly normal. (Not sure if being serial killer will be counted as normal. :P)

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Because I think he is cute, or may be the kind of roles he play :D
(from his latest movie :D )




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“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love”

(Delena fans will understand)