F. R. I. E. N. D. S.

Hey.... How you doing??.... :D

Now I have been intending to write this one from quite a time now but needless to say last month was one hell of a ride, and managing time was a tricky thing to do. But I guess its better to be late than never. So here it is.

A small Thank You note to all the people who made these four years unforgettable for me. Who helped me transform from who I was to who I am. For putting up with all my tantrums and melodramas. (yes I know I can be such a pain sometimes :P). To let you know, that even if I do not get the chance to see you people tomorrow, you will always remain close to my heart. And I will probably never be able to talk about college without mentioning your names. :)

Since our college student body doesn't have time to give titles to 1000 students. I thought I should take matter in my own hands and so here is the outcome. :P

Saumya Mishra  -  The one who will always remain close to my heart .... :* (trust me when i say this)
                             The one with the risk taking ability .. ( I wish i had the guts... too proud of u :) )
                             The one with the fabulous roommate ... (mujh jaise nahi milegi :P)
                             The one who recharged her phone and typed correct ATM no.... (How can you ...:O )
                             The one with all my embarrassing secrets. ... ( Lets not discuss them :P )
                             The one who tolerated my replay of songs... ( I knw u hated me 4 dat :P )

Aditi Wadhawan - The one with the Golden Heart .... (yes you do have it.... :) Dont change urself )
                             The one with the honey chilly potatoes.... :P
                             The one who got me ghar ka khanna .(I cudnt hv survived hostel without your lunch :D )
                             The one I always lectured..... ( you are imature..but i hv grown up in ur company..#Fact)
                             The one who constantly gave me a reality check ... (Yeah I surely needed dat.. )
                            
Neha Garg         -  The one who is still a kid      (GROW UP.... and you knw wt i mean by that :P)
                             The one who took the chadder.... (shud i really comment)

                             The one who is the best shopping patnr (ohh yes u r ...i miss u trribly on my shopng days)
                             The one who was my third rummy ( i miss u :/)
                             The one with the "KD" talks... (haha....will v ever need it again :P )
                             The one who is strong... (yes u r )
                             The one who has seen me crying`.... :(
                             The one with the straight hairs.... (yes i will always remain jealous of dem :P )

Sarthak Arora     - The one who played Guitar for me.... (Continue doing so :P)
                             The one who picked up fights for me... ( thanku :) )
                             The one with "Ek thi........" (hehe)
                             The one who gave me a new name.. "PC" (kuch acha soch leta... :/ )
                             The one who will always remain "fattu" for me.... :D
                         
Mohit Singh        - The one with all the dirty jokes.... (i will record n play it at ur home some day :P )
                             The one I fighted the most with... (u start it.... ALWAYS... i knw u wont agree to it :P )
                             The one with the kaspersky...
                             The one who made me an encyclopedia of abuses... ( kab sudhrega :P )
                             The one with the"seedha" looks :P
                             The one with the "Attendanceeeeeee" ( B2 ki yaadein :P )
                            
Ankit Chaturvedi  -The one who is always short of words (and I am here 2)
                              The one who is not mailing me my farewell pictures (kerde mail)
                              The one with the 10% party rule ... (joh aajtak nahi hui :P )
                              The one who made me watch Batman in hindi :|
                              The one who saved my ass in the major project (thanku 4 dat :) )

Namit                   - The one who made me over eat
                               The one who freaks me out... (yes u do.. n u knw dat)
                               The one with the chicken tikka rolls... ( i miss dem)
                               The one who is always there to support and help me :)

Vanika Kapoor    - The one who is always ready for a party
                              The caring one (Never change yourself)
                              The one who is always with the shopping bags
                              The one who is awesome in managing time and situation (How do u do it)
                              The one who made it all possible :D
                              The only Punjabi who does hisaab better than baniya :P

Sakshi & Mayuri-  The two who cook awesome cakes (Thanku 4 those cakes :D )
                             The two who finally made visiting Doll museum possible :D
                             The two with the class notes :P
                           
Manshul             - The one with the gentleman qualities :)

Kunal                 - The one with the unlimited phone calls :P

Reetika               - The one who is a hygiene freak ... (reetika sach mai.... u r obsessed)
                             The one who can embarrass Monica Gellar
                             The one who is always late :P
                             The one who never close the door on leaving :P
                             The one with the photogenic face and perfect pose :D
                             The one who is fun to be with :D

Rajshree            - The one who introduced me to the whole new world (dont knw wt i wud hv done wout u)
                            The one who helped me discover myself (Yes u r d reason :) )

Atishay              - The one who wants 2 level higher of..... (u knw wt :P )

Ankiti Bansal     - The one who understood the intensity of the hidden meanings in my choice of quotes :)

Sonam              - The one with the bubbly attitude.. (stay dat way )


College was so much fun with you guys.Hope to see you all soon again..:D    

And Yes... Please do leave a comment 

PS- I wanted a perfect ending, but now I have learned that some poems don't rhyme, few stories do not have a clear beginning, ending or middle. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing whats going to happen next. :)                            

Calvin And Hobbes

Because

1) I am obsessed with Calvin.

2) In spite being a 6 year old, He talks about life more brilliantly than 99% people i know.

3) His arrogance is more on the cuter side.

4) I wont mind having kids like him (though they will b such a pain i m sure :P)

5) I have literally browsed half of the internet for the comic strip.

6) And most of all, Its getting kind of repetitive on facebook cover photos. :P

Here are my few absolute favorites.

1) Its only work when someone makes you do it.

  Explains a lot.

2) Ignorance is such a Biss.

If you can't sort it out, JUST IGNORE it. Maybe things will sort out themselves with time. :) 

3) Incapacity to tell the difference.

Boy, I love your attitude. Be stubborn, be crazy. And don't ever let any one, not even yourself talk you into the idea of "Its not possible". Because it is very much possible.

4) If People sat outside and looked at the stars.

Seems True to me. 

5) I Hate You.

Because we don't always mean what we say, and say what we mean. 

6) Try Jumping.

Things will happen, once you will step out of your comfort zone.

7) You don't get to be a mom, if you can't fix everything just right.

Accept it, she has a solution to your every damn problem. And even if not, she can cheer you up and fill you up with new hopes while siting miles away :)

8) Killing the time.

This is what i hate about myself. I should be out there, enjoying life, exploring things and not siting here banging my head against walls.

9) I am going as a barrel of toxic waste.

To his sense of humor. SALUTE.

10) Everybody I know needs what i am selling.

Sarcasm at its best.

11) We Don't read about Dinosaurs. 

Education system. Sigh.

12) I told you not to read this.

Hence, intelligence of male species proved. Hehe.

13) That's Life.

14) Expressing Individuality ?

Yeah we are all fools.

15) Its not Denial, I am just very selective about the reality i accept.

And The best of all

Hope you enjoyed reading them, as much as i enjoyed compiling them. :)

Because it matters

Yeah Yeah... i know, what am i doing here on my blog. I should have been preparing for my test, and those n number of things that are lined up for me. But anyways as always i have just one answer... "Because i want to"

Now for those who are wondering what this post is about.... Lets just say its a small thank you note. Because smallest gesture matters to me the most. It is to let you know (in case you read my blog :P) that more than your words, i notice your actions. Even the tinniest details of your actions don't go unnoticed. In fact they are the ones that i value the most, because they are involuntary. :) Its a good idea to recall them every once in a while, just to know there are people who love you. :D

1) When your mom says "You will find a way. You always did." :)

2) In spite of being the least expressive human being on this planet, your brother places an online order of fabric colors, with a note "try something new", when you tell him.... "mera mann nahi lag raha".

3) When your dad, just cant accept the fact that you have grown up. :P

4) You have a elder cousin, who called you insane names, irrespective of the fact that you are six or sixteen. Now it sounds weird when they call you by your real name in public. :P (No i am not telling you those names. :P )

5)You have a friend who will put her boy friend's call on hold for you. And if he cribs about it, she will tell him loud and clear. "She matters to me more than you. Got it?"

6) Its your special day, and you want something perfect and elegant to dress up. You march down each and every store of GIP with your friend, and tell yourself "I am doomed" and she shouts at you and say "SHUT UP we will find something for you." And drags you till the end of the universe and find the most perfect off white color dress of all times, with perfect matching heels. (It was almost magical.)

7) Your friend comes running 3 floors to wake you up for 9 am class. In spite of knowing the first thing you will tell her is, "I so badly want to kill you". :P

8) You have a friend who is always the first one to wish you Birthday.

9) You have friends who will go through your entire blog post, even if it doesn't interest them. Just to encourage you. :)

10) You have a teacher, who will always believe in you. :)

What all I am, and what not

1) Sometimes i like to sit and watch children play and smile at them occasionally for no reason. Shy ones look away cutely as if they did not see me smiling at them, few smile back and run away ... and 4 me its one of the most cutest sight of the world. :)

2) I absolutely love, when someone goes through my entire blog post. Even if he/she is a stalker i don't mind :P.

3) I do not cry. Or it will be more appropriate to say crying doesn't come naturally to me. Frustration, irritation is more like my way of expressing.

4) As much as i like my writings to be read and understood, i equally like being anonymous and not being understood and judged.

5) If you matter to me, I make sure you know it.

6) I like to look at stars in summer breeze and listen to music.

7) While everyone wants and love to work on stage, i like the idea of working off stage. 

8) Stress gives me pimples and hair fall. I don't like either of them. :P

9) Yes, I am a control freak. I like things in order and exactly at the place where they belong. 

10) No, I am not on whats app, nor do i plan to. Stop asking me. I absolutely hate chatting and networking. Call me anti social i don't mind. I call it being selectively social.

11) No, I am not use to of compliments. Or is it because all my life i have been waiting for someone to validate them and give them meaning for me.

12) I am more of Jane Austen, John Keats type romance. But what a tragedy none of them fully experienced what they so intensely and passionately talked about.

13) I absolutely love confectionery. Every inch of me craves and get tempted by confectionery stores. 

14) There is something beautiful in a half painted canvas. It has room for more. Does that make sense to you?

15) Yellow is my favorite color. Odd??? i like it anyways ... its bright and joyful :)

16) I like the sound of blowing wind, and the sound leaves create in the blowing wind. I don't know how to describe it. Can you imagine?? Or ever noticed??

17) Singing along my fav. lines of fav. songs. Though i am a pathetic singer :P

18) Long Drives, late hours, a window seat and some slow music. :)

19)  Smiling at strangers.

20) Sometimes i wake up in the morning with regret and wish to go back on a particular date.

21) Yes i have trouble sleeping, and i am superstitious about few things.

22) Have you read, "The third level" ? I wish to live such a life. So less complicated.

23) I am an engineer and i am suppose to love gadgets. But i feel after a certain limit they just add more problems in your life. Sometimes its good to be unreachable. :)

24) And i still do believe in fairy tale endings. :) Though i am probably the one criticizing most about it. :P

PS- This is just an excerpt of me, it will take another 1000 post like these to understand me :P i m such a rare piece ;)

Philosophical saddistic me

1) Sometimes its good and necessary to be bad, so people value you, when you are good with them.

2) Don't help unless someone ask for it, let them know they need you.

3) If some one irritates you, tell them. They deserve to know.

4) Before saying YES to others. Make sure you are not saying NO to yourself.

5) No one will stay with you forever. Its just you. So make sure you love yourself the most.

6) Don't try, Do it. That is the only way you will have it.

7) Do what you feel is right for you. Not what others think is right for you.

8) Don't let your entire existence depend upon others opinion. Free yourself from emotional clutter, it wont       lead you anywhere.

9) People who want to stay will stay.

10) Sometimes just let it be.

Letter to a friend

I had a dream last night. About us.

Not that its the first time, but somehow it felt different. I don't know. Its hard for me to explain and keep it in words right now.  But still if i try hard to put it in words,  "It was intense but oddly calm and soothing". We spoke nothing at all, not anything that i can recall or reproduce right now. I can just remember the silence we sat with.

It was almost midnight, i was sitting on the same rooftop of the store room beside the field. Do you remember the place?  It was just like old times, just like it use to be. Refreshing and green with the smell of the dirt, and merrily sprinting trees around. Remember how we use to jump walls to secretly sneak into the private field, completely avoiding "TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED". And the consequences and rebukes we faced because of it. Anyways i still don't regret a single moment of it or even the scolding sessions, my childhood and teenage wouldn't have been the same without it.   Amazingly that place still hold a huge sentimental value to me and will remain special to me in spite of the fact that its no more a field. It has outgrown itself into a jungle of concrete. I still do go out thr sometimes alone, when i miss you. Sit thr in silence with all those funny stories of our teenage in my head. How we discussed our lives our choice of careers, men.... family. How we wanted our lives to be after 10-15 years. And more importantly how badly we wanted to stay the bestest besties for ever and ever.

In my dream i was sitting in the dark silently, gazing at the stars, which were few in number. I was clearly missing you. Wanted to tell you so many things i have been experiencing in my waking life. And after few minutes i turn around and i see you sitting by my side. It was magical and miserable at the same time. For a moment i was happy, then realization hit me. You can not be thr. Its my imagination. I said nothing neither did you, and we both sat thr silently and cried. Occasionally looking at each other and smiling stupidly.

I woke up with moist eyes at 4 am. Needless to say couldn't go to bed again. My roomie is slowly getting tired of this. She can not understand, why i wake up in the mid of night and prefer to take a walk in the corridor instead. May be its because i think about you more often these days and i know its just my sub conscious that is doing the trick.

Events after that accident have started to fade away but somehow my feeling of grief multiplies everyday. Everyday i miss you a little more than yesterday. It wont be wrong to say that first few weeks were the easiest for me. May be i was in the state of denial. Perhaps that was the reason i did not come more often to see you in the ICU. Or may be I was scared to see you like that or accept that its actually happening. I remember my mom getting worried for me, and explaining me all the time. That even if you survive, you wont be the same person i knew since 2nd grade. Full of life, enthusiastic, talkative, empathetic and the one i was not ashamed to enjoy my dark side with. Instead you will be bed ridden, paralyzed and most probably wont be able to feel or analyze anything. Brain dead basically.

I sometimes dwell upon the if's and but's. If it was possible for me to change the course of events. If i would have asked you more often or tried to convince you not to be so dangerously close to danger. If i was not so busy with my own life and entrance exams at that point of time and if i had time to hear your latest stories of adventure. If and only if i could have tried a little more. But then sometimes i think to myself you were the wild child and spontaneous one, i was just the shy kid next door. How i could have ever expected you to change into ordinary one like me, who calculates the risk first and then step into the ocean. Its stupid. I loved your company, every one did. Because I basically loved being you, exploring my wild side. I loved being the partner in crime with you. It was hell so much fun. Specially when i knew you have my back. You will look after me no matter what.

Last time we talked, It was just after i received my admission letter. And you were telling me how things going to change. I will be living in a new city with new set of friends and possibly a new bestie. And i told you and promised you that i will visit you every vacation. We promised we will call each other every other day. And will always remain besties.

I absolutely hate myself for not going to see your parents more often in spite of living so close. I want to, but its so damn difficult. I have absolutely no idea how to talk to your parents or what to talk about. I was never good at socializing you know that. Instead It was you always finding new friends for me. I was the one hesitating to even ask a glass of water, when you will go and open up the fridge to check what you want to have on just one casual invitation "beta kya loge". 

Basically i just miss you. And no one can fill the void you create.

PS-HAPPY B'DAY :)

21/12/12

21/12/12..... yes thats what on calendar today and its special. And do you think you know why? Give it a second thought friends, if i would have been you i won't jump to conclusions so fast...... because sadly or gratefully,world is not comming to its end.

So, what's on my extraordinarily ordinary mind today?

Lets give it a check.

1)I should really download torrent files for twilight breaking dawn Part 2, and Disney Brave before i end up using all my Bandwidth for Gossipgirl series, just to find out Dan Humphry.. our lonely boy .... was the gossip girl...ahh thats so lame.... (but anyways i m still watching the series....and to confess... i am really inspired by Blair :P and thats even more stupid)

2)I badly wish to suggest someone to watch "Flipped" and maybe then they will know, that i am living in a different world of imagination and need to brought back to reality. Its not what they say, Its about those thosand meanings i interpret and analyse. :|

3)Yippy, my hairs looking atleast 3 inches longer than previous holidays and my curls seem to be really conditioned. No doubt, this is even 'once in a year' ocassion :P

4)Reading my inbox. Childhood friends can surprisingly remind you of who you are really and might not even realise. Taking you down the memory lane, they can help you see who you were before you started changing or judging yourself from others point of view. :) And i cant help myself, thinking what if i can once again play video games all day long without worries....and mind you, i wont be taking second player this time :P.... i hated that so much :P

5)OMG, I have got this great story to write about. Ohh no, its again inspired by real life characters and incidents ... :/. What if i really write about it?

6)I am bored of my playlist. Someone, anyone please suggest.

7)Because i have nothing to do, I can probably post something stupid and completely vella on Neha's wall. :P

8)No, more crappy shitty romantic movies from now on :P (what i always say, after watching the same kind of movie :P)

9)Yes, that will be all 4 now i guess. :P

Yes there were no clues. :P :P

So, If you haven't guessed already, my blog completes its 1st year today. :)