F. R. I. E. N. D. S.

Hey.... How you doing??.... :D

Now I have been intending to write this one from quite a time now but needless to say last month was one hell of a ride, and managing time was a tricky thing to do. But I guess its better to be late than never. So here it is.

A small Thank You note to all the people who made these four years unforgettable for me. Who helped me transform from who I was to who I am. For putting up with all my tantrums and melodramas. (yes I know I can be such a pain sometimes :P). To let you know, that even if I do not get the chance to see you people tomorrow, you will always remain close to my heart. And I will probably never be able to talk about college without mentioning your names. :)

Since our college student body doesn't have time to give titles to 1000 students. I thought I should take matter in my own hands and so here is the outcome. :P

Saumya Mishra  -  The one who will always remain close to my heart .... :* (trust me when i say this)
                             The one with the risk taking ability .. ( I wish i had the guts... too proud of u :) )
                             The one with the fabulous roommate ... (mujh jaise nahi milegi :P)
                             The one who recharged her phone and typed correct ATM no.... (How can you ...:O )
                             The one with all my embarrassing secrets. ... ( Lets not discuss them :P )
                             The one who tolerated my replay of songs... ( I knw u hated me 4 dat :P )

Aditi Wadhawan - The one with the Golden Heart .... (yes you do have it.... :) Dont change urself )
                             The one with the honey chilly potatoes.... :P
                             The one who got me ghar ka khanna .(I cudnt hv survived hostel without your lunch :D )
                             The one I always lectured..... ( you are imature..but i hv grown up in ur company..#Fact)
                             The one who constantly gave me a reality check ... (Yeah I surely needed dat.. )
                            
Neha Garg         -  The one who is still a kid      (GROW UP.... and you knw wt i mean by that :P)
                             The one who took the chadder.... (shud i really comment)

                             The one who is the best shopping patnr (ohh yes u r ...i miss u trribly on my shopng days)
                             The one who was my third rummy ( i miss u :/)
                             The one with the "KD" talks... (haha....will v ever need it again :P )
                             The one who is strong... (yes u r )
                             The one who has seen me crying`.... :(
                             The one with the straight hairs.... (yes i will always remain jealous of dem :P )

Sarthak Arora     - The one who played Guitar for me.... (Continue doing so :P)
                             The one who picked up fights for me... ( thanku :) )
                             The one with "Ek thi........" (hehe)
                             The one who gave me a new name.. "PC" (kuch acha soch leta... :/ )
                             The one who will always remain "fattu" for me.... :D
                         
Mohit Singh        - The one with all the dirty jokes.... (i will record n play it at ur home some day :P )
                             The one I fighted the most with... (u start it.... ALWAYS... i knw u wont agree to it :P )
                             The one with the kaspersky...
                             The one who made me an encyclopedia of abuses... ( kab sudhrega :P )
                             The one with the"seedha" looks :P
                             The one with the "Attendanceeeeeee" ( B2 ki yaadein :P )
                            
Ankit Chaturvedi  -The one who is always short of words (and I am here 2)
                              The one who is not mailing me my farewell pictures (kerde mail)
                              The one with the 10% party rule ... (joh aajtak nahi hui :P )
                              The one who made me watch Batman in hindi :|
                              The one who saved my ass in the major project (thanku 4 dat :) )

Namit                   - The one who made me over eat
                               The one who freaks me out... (yes u do.. n u knw dat)
                               The one with the chicken tikka rolls... ( i miss dem)
                               The one who is always there to support and help me :)

Vanika Kapoor    - The one who is always ready for a party
                              The caring one (Never change yourself)
                              The one who is always with the shopping bags
                              The one who is awesome in managing time and situation (How do u do it)
                              The one who made it all possible :D
                              The only Punjabi who does hisaab better than baniya :P

Sakshi & Mayuri-  The two who cook awesome cakes (Thanku 4 those cakes :D )
                             The two who finally made visiting Doll museum possible :D
                             The two with the class notes :P
                           
Manshul             - The one with the gentleman qualities :)

Kunal                 - The one with the unlimited phone calls :P

Reetika               - The one who is a hygiene freak ... (reetika sach mai.... u r obsessed)
                             The one who can embarrass Monica Gellar
                             The one who is always late :P
                             The one who never close the door on leaving :P
                             The one with the photogenic face and perfect pose :D
                             The one who is fun to be with :D

Rajshree            - The one who introduced me to the whole new world (dont knw wt i wud hv done wout u)
                            The one who helped me discover myself (Yes u r d reason :) )

Atishay              - The one who wants 2 level higher of..... (u knw wt :P )

Ankiti Bansal     - The one who understood the intensity of the hidden meanings in my choice of quotes :)

Sonam              - The one with the bubbly attitude.. (stay dat way )


College was so much fun with you guys.Hope to see you all soon again..:D    

And Yes... Please do leave a comment 

PS- I wanted a perfect ending, but now I have learned that some poems don't rhyme, few stories do not have a clear beginning, ending or middle. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing whats going to happen next. :)                            

What do I long for?

“Writers are desperate people and when they stop being desperate they stop being writers.”

― Charles Bukowski

I have heard people stating many a times that life is simple, the most complex questions have a very simple answer. We are just not looking at it in the right way. Can it be the other way round ? Can simple questions have complex answers ?

I was having this conversation with a friend last week, when eventually I ended up talking about authors. Authors who are praised and  read world wide, without whom i suppose the term "literature" itself will hold a little less of its meaning. And strangely enough, they all have something in common, i.e. they all write with a purpose. If you look into their private lives and theme of work close enough, you will observe a pattern.

Sylvia Plath an american poet and short story writer. Those who cant recall her, do you remember "Mirror", a short poem as a part of our English syllabus. Yes, author of the very same poem. Most of her work falls into a category of confessional poetry. Her poems are full of references and images that seem impenetrable at this distance, but which could mostly be explained in footnotes by a scholar with full access to the details of her life. She lost her father at a very early age, had a miscarriage and found her marriage falling apart, which she always thought about as love at first sight. Her husband (Ted Hughes) was cheating on her.

Let me show you, one of my favorite pick from her work.

Mad Girl's Love Song

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Can you relate it now? Does it makes sense to you now after knowing about her personal life? What do you say was she longing for something? Was she desperate? Undoubtedly YES.

Enid Blyton most of her work revolves around child fantasy. She wrote stories of child adventures. Blyton adored her father and was devastated after he left the family to live with another woman. Blyton and her mother did not have a good relationship, and later in life, Blyton claimed to other that her mother was dead and ultimately did not attend either of her parents' funeral.  Am I wrong to think of her work as an attempt to relive all those happy childhood moments that she missed? Can i think about it as a flight of imagination for things she longed for?

Jane Austen the author of my favorite "Pride and Prejudice". She wrote six novels during her lifetime, Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, Emma, Northanger Abbey and Persuassion. All based on the theme of romance and happily ever after.  But surprisingly in her real life she never found her Mr. Perfect. I wonder why she was so good in imagining those happy ever afters may be because she longed for them herself.

Now when this conversation got over, self realization hit me hard. What do i write about? And moreover what do I want to write about? What is it that i am looking for??? Do i write to settle down my rage? or in the name of fiction, creativity and imagination; I am trying to communicate my emotions with you??? What is it?

At times like these i really question my level of sanity. Why cant I have a simple answers like everyone else. Like in this case it would have been much simpler if i would have answered myself "I write because i like to write." Why do i need to over think and over analyze everything, every situation? Its not necessary that everything has a logic or purpose.

But anyways I am happy that i at least found myself an answer. Answer is beyond insane, but its a proof of my patience and ability to hold on, when i know it doesn't make a sense and Its nothing more than a useless pointless effort and wastage of time and energy.
Ok, don't put efforts interpreting my last lines. You are not getting close anyways :P and this makes blogging even more interesting. :P

PS- I know this should have been a diary entry instead, but anyways I read it somewhere; one must learn to embrace his/her own weirdness. :)
  

TO DO

Since i am kind of vella right now, and everyone in my world seems to be busy. Few with their internship and the rest with their projects and group meetings. Also I am tired of killing time on facebook, where virtually everyone is having a blast. So i ended up building a castle in the air with a list of things.

1) PAINT :  If something can distract my vague thoughts, it is painting. I absolutely love that part of me. Right now i can imagine myself painting all those bits and pictures in my head i have collected while traveling for my internship. Wait they will be posted soon I promise, because that what i am planning to invest my time on.

2) READ : After "If you could see me now", "Animal Farm" is next on my list. I am hoping for some light moments and intelligent humor as suggested by a friend.

3) CRICKET AND FOOTBALL : Now that i see everyone talking in terms of cricket and football. I think i should learn bits of it so i can talk a little about it. At least should know the teams and players. Will be good for a start i guess. Any one wishing to volunteer?

4) TRAVEL : Okay, honestly I don't know when in my life i will have the pleasure of travelling and see the big world out there. But i do have my plans. My itinerary is not the stereotype of famous holiday spots instead it is a baggage of pictures i have browsed randomly (not sure if its the place or the photographer... or may be even photoshop) that attracted me. I wish to go and see those places where those pictures were taken, from the same angle from the same position. I wish to sit there enjoy the scene and absorb the beauty of it.
Hint: I really love Heights and water bodies, minus cold weather.

5) COOK : Not like everyday. But something special everyday. Watch Ratatouille, you will understand.

6) DSLR : Not sure if i am into photography. But i know its will help me give reason to people staring awkwardly, to understand why anyone will like to hang out alone.

7) SHOP : I want to shop till i drop. In my language shopping is treating yourself. If i am in bad mood, it adds little something to cheer me up.

PS- Thanks for bearing with this lame post. :P . Cant help it. I am bored.  

Memoirs of a Geisha

No, this post is strictly not meant to review but yes it has something to do with it.

‘Geisha’, now I am still not sure how to define Her. Should I call her an artist as the narrator introduces her or as my dictionary suggests.

Every culture and history has witnessed ubiquitous nature of Her…its just the name that differs. They have been amusing various art forms and their artists since long, are among the most endured and intensely talked about characters whether in ‘eleven minutes’ or ‘dangerous beauty’.  Instead of all those qualities of feminism they possess they are still judged brutally and considered a disgrace. Story of a geisha is as forbidden to be told or talked about as it is fragile.

If anyone defines true feminism in my opinion it’s definitely geisha. She is strong, capable, self sustaining, had gone through so much in life and yet made it through alive. She had none of the choices to make but adapted to the worst you could imagine. Know the rules of the world better than so many of us and above all she never allowed herself to be fooled by the emotions…. Even if she did for once she knew how to let go and hold on to the grounds of reality.

All I want to ask in one line is…isn’t that uncivilized world exists because civilized world need it to exist.

Why is it easy for all of us to look away rather than understanding and respecting?